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Data types | Fact sheet | Samples
Quotations: Sample humorous quotations
Alan Bennett
English dramatist, screenwriter, and actor
We started off trying to set up a small anarchist community, but people wouldn't obey the rules.
[Getting On I]
Ambrose Bierce
US author
Bore A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
[Cynic's Word Book]
Agatha Christie
English writer
An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have: the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.
[Attributed remark 1954]
Billy Connolly
Scottish comedian
Marriage is a wonderful invention; but, then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.
[Quoted in D Campbell Billy Connolly]
Jerome K Jerome
English journalist and writer
It is always the best policy to speak the truth – unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar.
[The Idler February 1892]
Vincent Price
US actor
I'll do anything for money – even associate with my agent.
[TV Times]
Will Rogers
US humorist
I don't make jokes – I just watch the government and report the facts.
[Saturday Review 25 August 1962]
John Russell
British politician
Two mothers-in-law.
[On being asked what he considered to be an appropriate punishment for bigamy]
Adlai Stevenson
US Democrat politician
An editor is one who separates the wheat from the chaff and prints the chaff.
[Stevenson Wit]
Shirley Temple
US actor
I stopped believing in Santa Claus at an early age. Mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked me for my autograph.
[Quoted in Leslie Halliwell Filmgoer's Companion 1965]
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